Top reporter quits plum job after 75 years

Exactly a week after Newsweek decided to shut shop and on the eve of the reverse-sting that caught Zee News with its pants down, Clark Kent has walked off his job at The Daily Planet as the world’s longest serving reporter, bemoaning the state of journalism.

He would have completed 75 years of service next year.

“Why am I the one sounding like a grizzled ink-stained wretch who believes news should be about – I don’t know – news?” Mr Kent asked his publisher Perry White in a widely reported sting operation.

This is not the first time the temperamental reporter, who has often shown a penchant for wearing his underwear outside, has left the paper. When Galaxy Broadcasting bought The Daily Planet in 1971, Mr Kent had a short spell as a broadcaster before returning to the paper.

Mr Kent declined to answer queries but a spokesman for his PR company said:

“This is really what happens when a 27-year-old guy is behind a desk and he has to take instruction from a larger conglomerate with concerns that aren’t really his own… He is arguably the most powerful person on the planet, but how long can he sit at his desk with someone breathing down his neck and treating him like the least important person in the world?”

There are no indications what the ageing reporter, who has been secretive of his family, plans to do next, but online speculation suggested he might opt for a career, well, online.

“I don’t think he’s going to be filling out an application anywhere,” his PR man said.”He is more likely to start the next Huffington Post or the next Drudge Report than he is to go find someone else to get assignments or draw a paycheck from.”

A spoof animation video from Taiwan, which imagines Mr Kent behind a McDonald’s counter, invited suggestions what other career options existed before him.

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