God’s detractor-in-chief gets a makeover

America’s premier magazines have probably decided that the battle with the Great Editor upstairs is getting a little too ugly. And they are giving two very unlikely ones at the forefront of the battle in different ways, a “complete makeover”.

Christopher Hitchens, no doubt spaced out after taking on God, gets an “executive destress treatment” at a “high-end spa” courtesy Vanity Fair.

“I need the junky energy that scotch can provide, and the intense short-term concentration that nicotine can help supply. To be crouched over a book or a keyboard, with these conditions of mingled reverie and alertness, is my highest happiness.”

Osama bin Laden, courtesy of his recent video appearance, gets advice from Esquire where to find a tweezer (“No man with eyebrows like that can be taken seriously”) and what to do with his turban.

b. We get the turban thing. We really do. But there’s something that might help you connect with all the hip young jihadists out there: a Che hat. That’s right, you heard us. From Brooklyn to Baghdad, a Che hat goes a long way in inspiring revolution.

Meanwhile, Scott Adams weighs in with this priceless gem:

“How hard would it be for the CIA to create a fake Osama who looks more real than the real one? I don’t think it would be hard. A Hollywood special effects team could pound one out in a week. Then you just need to get the other intelligence agencies to say the voice is authenticated. Bam.”

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